Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
