i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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