he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
