I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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