ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
