I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize