White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
