your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
