very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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