He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
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I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
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I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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