ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
