I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
