Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
