So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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