Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
