You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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