Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just gargled with NyQuil
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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