Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
