Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
