Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Let's get the cat blown out
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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