If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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