well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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