Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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