If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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