i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
