I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I am mentally ready for anal.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
