OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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