margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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