MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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