im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Randomize
