we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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