Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
