I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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