His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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