girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
