tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i just had sex bonerless
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
