i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
