I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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