he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
