u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My dick has a subreddit
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
