walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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