i was born a porn star she said
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize