omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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