maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
ttyl tear gas
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
