I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
