Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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