Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
