i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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