Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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