That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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