Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
