She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
