I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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