That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
