Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
