so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
