Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
