need another drink. this is the easiest way
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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