why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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