I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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