Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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