I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
