I heard we made out
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
