I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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