...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
