is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
